by Charnae Sanders
The differences between dating in college and dating in high school: time, accessibility and expectations. While dating in college can be more fun than dating in high school, it can also become more complicated. There is more at stake, higher expectations and the dating world also becomes more public.
However, some things still remain the same, such as some of the guys you’ll meet on campus. They may have grown a little bit taller, buffer and have deeper voices, but there will still be men with “bad news” written all over them.
College Lifestyles™ tells you everything you should know when it comes to dating in college, finding love on campus and why it’s important to keep your options open.
1. Relationships shouldn’t be time consuming
Dating should be fun, but since your partner isn’t paying your college tuition, you have to prioritize your time. Just because you’re not in class or working at a part-time job, it doesn’t mean you should spend your extra time cuddling with your lover. Be productive and get involved with a registered student organization or socialize with friends. When you find a convenient way to manage your time, you will be able to have the best of both worlds from hanging out with your partner to being active on campus.
“While dating in college can be fun, never allow it to monopolize all of your time. Don’t get so caught up that you abandon other aspects of your life like family,friends, extracurriculars and especially your school work.” – Emerald Broach Hill, University of Cincinnati alumna
2. Try to date without any expectations
College is not the real world, which means some people are only looking to hookup or have a one-night stand. Even though it is possible to bump into Prince Charming, fall in love and share a happily ever after, it isn’t always the case.
When going out on dates, spare yourself the paranoia and heartbreak and just have a good time. Don’t expect your date to call you back, even if he says will. Don’t expect your date to want to become official, regardless of how many times you go out. The best way to protect your heart is to simply expect the unexpected and enjoy the ride.
If you aren’t comfortable riding on a rollercoaster and not knowing which way your relationship will turn, don’t put off telling your date what kind of relationship you are looking for. The sooner you let that person know, the quicker you’ll realize if this relationship is the right one for you.
3. Relationships won’t be classified under a specific category right away
Whether it’s a couple of days or a few weeks, it takes time to build a relationship before you can give it the proper label. There’s a difference between calling a guy your “babe” and then calling him your “boyfriend.” He may feel comfortable with a title such as “babe” and need some more time until he is ready to be called your “boyfriend.”
“I have learned that in college some people find it unnerving to label a relationship and that can be okay. Many relationships that my friends are in today started without a label and blossomed into strong, committed relationships, much like my own.” – Tara O’Neil, junior, Quinnipiac University
Some relationships won’t be given labels immediately or within the first few weeks, but don’t freak out. If you and that special someone have a strong connection, it doesn’t matter what label you two choose to share.
4. The fun and twisted games fromhigh school don’t stop in college
As much as everyone would love to believe the cheating and lying stops in high school, this simply isn’t reality. Just because people graduate high school doesn’t mean they’ve matured or learned the keys to having a successful relationship.
In college, continue to guard your heart and make smart choices. Don’t lower your standards or settle for anything less. Though every relationship you enter won’t turn out like you expect, understand that everyone is still learning and searching for the answers to create a strong and stable relationship.
5. Good relationships require balance
Though it can be difficult to manage your time in college, it is necessary to have an equal balance not only between you and your partner, but with your friends as well. To avoid making anyone feel left out or like a third wheel, split your time equally between your guy and the girls.
“Dating in college should be a fun experience, but you can’t neglect your school, friends or clubs because you’ll be missing out on so many special opportunities. A good relationship has balance – boyfriends Friday night, girls Saturday night and studies during the week.” – Megan DiTrolio, junior, Johns Hopkins University
Follow DiTrolio’s advice and spend Friday night with the lovely guy in your life and Saturday night with the most fabulous ladies you know. Not only will this make everyone feel included, but you also have Sunday and the weekdays for yourself.
6. There is nothing wrong with being single
Regardless if you’re single or taken, your college experience isn’t measured by how perfect your relationship is. You can still have a wonderful time on campus as a single co-ed. There is no need to go on a hunt to find the perfect man to complete your college career.
Plus, there are several other single women on campus who you can go out with on the weekends. If you ever feel alone, just call one of your girls up. After all, “Men come and go, but friend stay forever.”
7. When it comes to relationships, you lose some of your privacy
Since people are always around you, there isn’t much privacy in college. From being surrounded by peers in class to being gathered around your roommates back at the dorm, achieving privacy can be a challenge.
To help secure some privacy for you and your boo as well as your own private time, set aside certain times throughout the week. Mark them on your calendar or set reminders on your cellphone to remind you that this time is important.
“My boyfriend and I dedicate time to each other without anyone else, even if it involves just getting coffee or studying together. Onthe flip side of that, I’ve learned that there will be times that your time alone will be sacrificed to help out friends or to work – and understanding that is important. The most important thing is to remember that college should also be a lot about you so always take your ‘me’ time.” – Marisa Russell, sophomore, Hofstra University
8. Your relationship won’t always feel like a fairytale
The difference between you and Cinderella, besides the fact she is a fictional character in a Disney movie, is that you only got a glimpse of a few days of her life. You don’t see the ups and downs of relationships that will inevitably come.
The key to having a successful relationship is believing that love can be as romantic as a fairytale. It just requires work from both sides. If you and your partner aren’t getting along or are having trouble, instead of quitting, separating or breaking up, try to work the problem out.
9. Not everyone is hooking up
Believe it or not, not everyone is hooking up in college. On the contrary to what movies and television shows display, not everyone is interested in one-night stands or trying to only be friends with benefits.
Of course, there are people who are only seeking physical pleasure. However, there are also a ton of people looking for real relationships and someone to call their “great love.” Don’t settle for anyone below your standards because you feel like no one out there meets them. Be patient and respect yourself enough to know you are worth waiting for.
10. Not everyone finds their fiancé in college
There will always be stories of how romance blossomed in college between two classmates who couldn’t get enough of each other and later decided to move in together and wed. Though these stories are classic and sweet, they aren’t the case for everyone.
You could be a senior in college who hasn’t had one successful relationship throughout your four years of school. This doesn’t mean you’re unlucky in love or prone to dating disasters. You’ll just have to wait a little bit longer until you meet the right person who was meant for you. You never know, you could meet them at your future job or get introduced to them by a friend or family member back at home.
The bottom line is college is not about finding Mr. Right or trying to hookup with boys in your dorm for the fun of it. It’s about self-discovery and learning more about who you are and the type of person you want when you do choose to enter a relationship.
Enter a relationship when you feel ready and prepared to sacrifice some of your time and cash. As long as you don’t lose sight of the person you are and your goals in life, you can’t go wrong.
Find out the latest tips when it comes to dating on a budget along with other dating/relationships/entertainment articles on the College Lifestyles™ site:
Ten Tips for Dating on a Budget
Should You Go On a Second Date?
The Classy Co-Ed’s Guide to Flirting
Source:
http://collegelifestyles.org/
Posted By: How May I Help You NC
Monday, July 21st 2014 at 10:55AM
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