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Black Relationships - The Root of Success or Failure (1248 hits)


When we discuss the social issues affecting Blacks, one factor emerges beyond all others. Our relationships.

Our relationships dictate the most important responsibility of our lives - the raising and development of children.

Our relationships have the capability to create enormous wealth in a household, or cast its members into a life of poverty and debt. Think about it.

Our relationships determine the parenting style by which children are raised, and ultimately whether they will have good judgment or poor judgment in adulthood. Imagine how many Blacks today are incarcerated, dead, injured, or mentally/emotionally wounded, and how many of those cases were affected by parenting & relationship choices.

Our relationships create motivation for us to succeed, or create emotional dependencies that cripple our own success.

Think about any problem facing African Americans and ultimately you will return to one source: the interaction between Black men and women.

We spend years of our lives dedicated to studying mathematics, history, and literature. However, most of us have never had any real, wise counsel as to how to approach and support a significant other. Instead, we learn by trial and error.

Do we really take time to analyze the differences in communication between young men and young women, so that we can understand each other? Are young men taught how to restrain themselves and respect their women? Are young women taught how to comfort and honor the men in their lives? How would our existence differ if we were?

Wouldn't our families be tighter if young Brothers are taught that women do not always say what they mean, and young Sisters were taught that men do not always show what they feel?

Can we afford a learning curve? So many of us are tired and bitter from emotional battles that we walk away from the blessing that was destined for us.

I believe that if we teach men to become good fathers and husbands, and women to become good wives and mothers, we won't have to teach their children how to become good doctors, engineers, businesspeople, and teachers. They will have the courage and character to learn on their own.
Posted By: Jon C.
Friday, August 1st 2008 at 4:08PM
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Your contention, "Wouldn't our families be tighter if young Brothers are taught that women do not always say what they mean, and young Sisters were taught that men do not always show what they feel? ", is so simple and is pure genius! And you're right, as a culture, if we could find a way to teach men how to be good fathers and husbands, and women to become good wives and mothers, most of our problems could be solved, at least the ones we are causing for ourselves. I work with liitle black boys and girls in elementary education. They're not learning anywhere near their potential. Besides a whipping--which has become our ONLY resort for controlling our children---, many of these children arent' receiving the proper environment to be successful students and then they come to school and "act out" as a result of that home environment and the anger and pain over abandonment issues, mama's boyfriends, staying up too late etc. Many of our little black boys begin negative school records, as early as 1st grade, sometimes kindergarten, in the principals office most of the day. By the time our boys and girls become adults, this hurt and environment has not been abated. It's a desparate situation. And the behaviors they take into male/female or family relationships continue the cycle of what they learned in their first families. We've all got work to do!
Friday, August 1st 2008 at 4:52PM
g smallwood
I second what Isaac said totally!

Etana
Friday, August 1st 2008 at 7:27PM
Etana Busara
i feel that we should all look to the bible on how to be good wives, husbands, and parents. one word that we're all afraid is SUBMISSIVE. in the bible this does not mean to just be a 'yes' person to anything. it's about the husband being first submissive to god's word and in turn this gives the wife a good man to follow and be submissive. if the husband is not submissive first, then a wife really has nothing to follow.
Monday, August 4th 2008 at 10:04AM
stephen futado
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